A few posts back I mentioned I applied to my 'dream' tenure-track position, and, being as a long time has transpired since the original application, I requested a status update. I am still waiting. But, as it turns out, I found out in a roundabout way that I was not selected for an interview.
The Last Straw. This was the job I had structured my goals around when I first moved 6000 miles away to do my postdoc (the first one, that is), although it never really occurred to me that a position might actually open up in my dream city. But it did. This opportunity signaled the end of the postdoc experience for me and began the process of transitioning into a professorship. I had personal contacts with people there (for more than ten years), I had a decent CV, my research was aligned with the target of the application, and I even met the key players on the committee last summer during an informal interview process. And I applied.
It's a good thing I have been looking into non-academic jobs during the past two months, as it has softened the blow greatly. I already know I am not totally suited for academia - for example, I can't stand reading journal articles or making sure I am completely abreast of new developments and I am more of a short-term goal person. The non-academic job search (although grueling and depressing) and the continued failure of academic applications are good things, which promote delving into oneself to truly understand the situation. When I think about it, and considering there is no longer a tenure-track position there, I really don't want to live in the city I thought was my dream. It is still pretty scary realizing there is no future for me in academia, coupled with the fact that my non-academic search has not produced any results.
Fifteen years and thousands of dollars later, the door to my future career has finally closed. Let's hope I can find my way out in the dark. If only I could find some matches, I could use my diplomas as a torch.
Encourage...
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so sorry to hear this. You sound so depressed. It's worrying to hear your tone but I know that it is hard to realise that there is no future for one in academia after having invested not just large numbers of years but also a large amount of money. It's awful..I know and the others who are in the blogosphere who write about the lack of opportunities in academia etc are in the boat.
ReplyDeletehahaha! I love the last line :) I know only too well that this period of transition - from a career of certainty (even though futile) to gainful employment in something else - is hard. You just have to keep putting those applications out. You will find something. After all, you have already demonstrated that you are smart, focused, hard-working, dedicated and adaptable. It's just a matter of getting a gig somewhere else. It may take time, but you will get a job eventually.
ReplyDeleteI'm adding a note - don't use your diplomas as a torch since they may come in handy. You have to believe that you will find a job, as said above, since you're smart, focused, hard-working, dedicated and above all adaptable. Hang in there...
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